Clarity

My life, as life is for many other people, is reorganizing organically into some model I never imagined decades ago. Of course some of it’s by design, some experimentation, some reaction and then there’s the blindsiding stuff.

Many times it’s darkest before the dawn and other cliches. My filtering has not been my strongest asset and priorities end up being different than I think they are going to be. Everyone’s on a different part of the spectrum on this one.

Clarity is so important in living a successful life when things aren’t cut out for you any longer. Using myself as an example–I have many interests and it’s my health that is the most important focus for me. The art, writing (and obscure, energetic talent that has been more of a curse than a blessing until I gain some skills) are important for me to develop. They get worked in after the health thing that is on my plate right now, even though I don’t always accept it as cool and worthy.

I realized today that it’s my mindset I need to work with first for the biggest bang for my energy, time and effort and developing my skill set is secondary at this point. This is very useful for me to know as I go about my day and something I didn’t see clearly a few days ago. It used to be that I was overwhelmed with demands and reacting so these are things I’m learning now while my life is unstructured.

I’ve been dealing with my blog by writing about things like ice cream and television shows and birds because this has all been swirling around me in a confusing way. Now I feel all is right again and I make a point of moving through the panic phases as quickly as I can.

There continues to be events and situations in the world that moves other people into fresh panic as well as the underlying anxiety. That’s why I often find it a relief that some people are doing very well. On some level we are all one and we really need a balance of some people having ease to offset the truly crappy times that other people are going through.

Well, what I’m attempting to get at here is that sometimes it feels like the struggle will never end but in a little while things become more clear and then there is an order of a higher level to work with. If you were in the same room with me you could probably hear the wheels in my head creaking and grinding, with steam coming off my skull as I learn these new things. For some reason, what people TELL me is often not accurate for my situation–or maybe the timing is off. It sneaks up on me while I’m puttering.

I’ve committed to blogging everyday which makes my posts all over the place through these cycles I suppose.

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