Sunday

Sometimes I don’t know what day it is. It is quiet today and seems like a Sunday. It was sunny, dry and the wind wasn’t blowing too hard so I got out for awhile and walked around. Also, downtown, where I live, was deserted and that’s kind of nice.

I chose fabric from my stash to go with the photos I laminated yesterday. I love fabric. This is a project that will require having my ironing board out for awhile. No way am I going to keep putting it away and taking it out. It never gets used for ironing clothes and I’m aware that many people don’t have irons these days.

Last night I made gluten-free brownies from a mix and they taste good enough. I don’t remember ever making brownies before and they’re kind of messy to cut–they broke apart when I took some from the pan. The suggestion was to freeze them an hour before cutting, which I didn’t do. They are a little bit sandy textured, which I don’t like in gluten-free products, but they’re chocolate truffle brownies and I like the taste. Surprisingly, I only needed to eat one–I used to have a raging sweet tooth.

I’m making different plans for my physical alignment exercises because I’m having trouble with the ones I did this week. I find I need to switch them around because as the body shifts, it causes instability and it also hurts. I wouldn’t mind walking with a cane so much if I had three hands.

Other changes are being made in my goals for the week as an experiment. I wrote them down and will review them next weekend. On great weather days, I’ll go outdoors instead.

My difficulties went undiagnosed for years as they gradually became worse. Now those people who told me I was lazy, clumsy, stupid, slow and that I didn’t care are no longer around. But as I expand and stretch what I do, their voices still echo in my head. Especially when I drop things, which happens quite often. Just thinking about it makes me more twitchy. So a main focus today and for the week is to do things anyway and carefully choose the encouraging self-talk I want and dial down those old, critical voices that got those people the opposite of what they wanted from me.

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