Ambition or Self-Abandonment?

Yes, I’m aware that many people like to function on the surface of life and they are busy with mundane surface things and are uncomfortable in the realms of questioning.
I’m aware of this because I’ve read about it, been told it and observed it in the behavior of people. And I still don’t understand how it’s possible to live that way.
Anyway, I believe it’s very important for everyone to know themselves so they can honor themselves and make good choices about moving forward in life.
When I logged on this morning, one of the first headlines I saw was about the quality that employers are looking for when hiring in 2011. Being skeptical about the reliability and truth perceived and presented by the media, I was curious about what they were putting out there to be considered by masses of people.
The quality is ambition. Apparently companies learned that it was their persistent, ambitious employees who were the most valuable during the past few years, surpassing technical mastery.
I can understand that companies would want what’s best for themselves and that they don’t have the highest interest of their employees in mind. That’s the way it seems to work now. Still.
Looking back at my work history, my loyalty was a wasted, draining, unrewarding, foolish, futile self-abandonment. I can’t say that I was ambitious but I certainly got sucked into putting my various jobs way ahead of my own well-being in a co-dependent way.
Not judging or blaming myself now and certainly not having mastered avoiding reacting into this behavior, I have compassion for the coping skills I attempted to use in struggling to survive with what I was taught.
We aren’t in other people’s shoes and cannot fully know what drives them. While it’s important to show up authentically as one’s self, there is a price to be paid. There’s a price to be paid for being ambitious or anything else we choose. Anything.
I hope people think carefully about the degree to which they are willing to inhabit their whole life fully and also to what they’re willing to give to the folks that employ them. (I’m all for being visionary with integrity and contributing energy and drive.)
It just seems unwise to only go with the signals of what is wanted from the outside and then twist and bend oneself into something unrecognizable in order to try to fulfill that, so one can survive and feel secure and maybe even get ahead. That’s how people learn though–through experiencing it themselves.
My conclusion for myself now is that self-abandonment hurts my security.

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