Valuable but no Deliverables

No outward pressure for me, having just awoken from a long nap on a quiet weekend. I’m feeling  slightly chilled and groggy and also committed to posting again.

There was no sun again today although a lovely pinkish tinge appeared behind the clouds this morning. When I glance quickly out the windows at the snow-sprinkled foothills, they remind me of the Lord of the Rings. Longing for food not prepared by me, I went out for a sandwich at a local deli. Gluten is so very not good for me– it was a carefully thought choice. I even had a glass of high fructose corn syrup pop, which is even more rare for me. The weather and the meal may have contributed to the somewhat coma-like nap.

I was already feeling hunkered down in my shell before going out and noticed I didn’t bother to wear earrings. In the northwest, where I live now, wearing makeup doesn’t seem to be as common as it did in the midwest and in the south. Usually I wear earrings though–it’s higher up on my list than running a comb through my hair before I leave home.

Earlier this morning I’d had a phone appointment with an energetic spirituality healer to remove a cord of attachment to someone I knew twenty-five years ago.  She actually is effective and down-to-earth. The transitional phase of healers and new age practitioners is unregulated and there are few standards of ethics and measurement of results. A consumer needs to beware–many sessions can be wasteful, ineffective and even harmful. It’s all part of learning, I guess but I feel done with those kinds of lessons for a long while.

Sure my positive thoughts, efforts, behavioral tweaking and psychological insights help me to move forward. When my energy body carries old pain and recycling toxic energy,  it complicates and undermines what I’m choosing to do to heal. The lessons were learned–it’s great to have the stuff surgically removed.

Many people think that their life is very unique. I know mine is and I’ve experienced things that many haven’t, in a way particular to me.  I’m still standing in an inner-directed way. I know things. I have clues about life. My passion makes itself felt from time to time.

One can have wisdom and insight and be willing to share and serve. Sometimes the opportunities for that are clear–one can step up and lend a hand in a way that isn’t harmful to oneself. It’s another matter to have a consistent way and means to contribute one’s gifts, being qualified to share and serve.

It’s odd what is considered valuable in our society and what skills can demand more monetary and other rewards than others. It isn’t always clear how to channel one’s gifts into a way to earn a living or be respected and appreciated.

Like me, many others are very valuable. Weighed down by past experiences, lacking a victim-stance but also low on confidence and self-promotion, we don’t have explainable deliverables.

How to answer that question, “what do you do?”.

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