There hasn’t been more than a few minutes of sunshine at a time for weeks now. It’s been foggy—I’ve seen more fog lately than during the entire four and a half years I’ve lived here. Recalling how I used to miss fog during the days of relentless sunshine, I’m aware of handling it but am a little concerned that it isn’t even officially winter yet. It’s a La Nina year and the Pacific Northwest is expected to be much wetter this winter. Where I am is actually high desert and I’m thinking the moisture is good.

Today seemed to be a foggy consciousness day also. Variety is good, right? This is a familiar area in the upward spiraling staircase and I did some thinking about where I was at—not much action.

Maybe I’m a bit hung over from my seemingly necessary asserting myself yesterday. It wasn’t an argument but it had the effect of activating stuff in my energy system. When you fight, the energy of it hangs out in your aura for awhile—I think for a couple of weeks or so and increases the chances of more arguments. A little of that is fine because we’re humans having lives. We aren’t robots or wispy ghosts.

So, I felt deflated and while pondering (a bit more than useful or healthy), I thought about how I could alter the way I go about things according to what  mode I’m in. To make it easy, it would be either inspired, hopeful mode or blah, discouraged mode. Today would be blah, discouraged mode and I could have plodded through and been more productive, but I did not. Perhaps tomorrow, for the sake of balance, I will. Unless the lightness and uplifted feeling happens and I have that to work with.

One of the shadows had to do with my self-criticism about my writing here. It seems choppy and disjointed to me. Much of the criticism I’ve received from others about my communication goes along with not getting to the point, giving too much information, rambling, etc. I’ve been attempting to write well, which might amuse me after I’ve been here awhile and find myself sloppily spilling my guts or getting into minute details or having lovely tangents.

It was a day I could spend in solitude so my mood was not inflicted on others. I ate healthy snacks, read and took a vitamin D3 capsule.  Maybe tomorrow I’ll dial down the intellect and dial up mindfulness and do simple things around my home.